Ahhh... What good a few days alone does for the mind, heart and soul. I was so emotionally, mentally and physically warn out that a little break away did me wonders. Most people won't admit it these days, as being busy seems to be glorified, but sometimes life just gets so darn hard and its important to stop and reflect. I found that as soon as my mind was cleared I was able to really think again. Logically and creatively. I even filled an entire journal with ideas, inspirations and just everything that had been brewing in my mind that I just don't get to explore in my normal mum/ wife life.
But the question that everyone asked upon my return was "Did you miss the kids?"... and there is this moment of if I say I didn't miss them does that make me a bad parent? Will people think that I therefore don't love my children? Or that I prefer being away from them?
How often do you hear people say "I love my kids BUT..." I'm glad school holidays are over, they drive me crazy, I'm sick of watching Big Block sing song over and over or insert story about crying, tantrums, feeding, sleeping or lack of. Since when did we have to start every unpleasant experience about our children with this? Why is it assumed that we don't love our children if we purely retell the days traumas without an intro of "I love them BUT...."
Well I am here to say its absolutely okay not to want to be with your kids 24/7. Little groms will do some pretty mean, rude, down right heart breaking shit to you and its okay, it's going to happen. They are just growing, learning and testing boundaries. They have emotions so big that they don't understand and often can't control. Sometimes just being a little bit tired equals a massive melt down while in the bath because they didn't want their hair washed and then another melt down after about why their hair wasn't washed. Kids will be kids and we don't have to like every minute of it.
The day you bring a child into the world does not rid you of any intolerance of bad behaviour. Or just because you are caring for a little human does not mean you are immune to hurtful, disruptive activities and its more than okay to not condone it.
Last week I had three days on my own. I can loudly say that I did not miss my kids. Yes I thought about them and yes when I spoke to them on the phone I got that bubble of pride and happiness in my heart BUT I didn't need to jump right on the next plane and be back with them that instant. I wasn't handicapped of enjoying my alone time because mummy needed some time out and its okay to admit it. Because being a mum is bloody hard and its not going to be fun all the time. I believe by having time apart and having something of your own that isn't child related you will appreciate them so much more.
I love my kids AND I love my time alone.